Never Mess with Allied Forces

“This is Richard Bolton reporting from BBC London. In our final story tonight, we have the remarkable account of eighty-five years old Enunice Wright, originally from Ipswich, who was shopping on High Street when she came across eight desperate jewelry thieves armed with sledge hammers.

“The thieves proceeded to smash the window of Pepperidges Jewelry Shop, sending the staff scrambling from flying shards of glass.

“Mrs. Wright heard the alarm half a block away, and then charged the villains flailing her purse. She clubbed one thief over the head, knocking him unconscious, as the others scrambled for their motor bikes.

“Mrs. Wright remained on the offensive, knocking one motor bike down, again with her remarkable purse. Two villains lay helpless as she beat them until the police came to her aid and apprehended the thieves.

“We have our own Lynn Burt standing by with Mrs. Wright. Lynn,” concluded Richard.

“Thank-you, Richard. I’m here with the hero of the day, Mrs. Eunice Wright. Mrs. Wright, could you describe, in your own words, exactly what happened,” said Lynn.

“Yes, thank-you dear. It was all so exciting, don’t you know. I heard the smash of glass up the street. Well, I always keep heavy books on my purse for such occasions. It comes from the war, you know. We never knew if we’d come across the Germans. Well, I saw those ruffians tearing up the neighbourhood and I had enough. As it happened just this morning I packed ‘War and Peace’ in my purse. I suspect these hooligans had enough war to last them a long while, I’d say.” Eunice smiled sweetly at the camera.

“There you have it,” Lynn added, “Once again the English and Russians joining together to rid the world of tyranny. Back to you Richard.”


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, humor, humour, news story, short fiction, short story, story, storypraxis and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Never Mess with Allied Forces

  1. I absolutely love your take on this story. Great work!

  2. Maureen says:

    I loved this story!

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