The World Ends on Wednesday

On any weekday you could find ‘The Scottish Guy’ standing at the corner of King and James street. He was a fixture at the downtown intersection. ‘The Scottish Guy’ was remarkable for three reasons: he always wore a kilt, no matter the weather; he wasn’t actually Scottish; and he always carried a sign that read ‘The world ends on Wednesday’.

Luc Voisine, a beat reporter for the local paper, decided one day to figure out his story. If nothing else, a story on ‘The Scottish Guy’ would appease the curiosity of thousands of business people who passed him every day.

“Excuse, me,” said Luc.

“What?”

“My name is Luc Voisine, from the Daily Expositor. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?” he said.

‘The Scottish Guy’ looked around, then back at Luc. “I guess.”

“First of all, what’s your name?”

“Bodo Mueller,” he said.

“That’s not exactly a Scottish name,” said Luc.

“Why would I have a Scottish name? I’m Austrian,” said Bodo.

“So what’s with the kilt?”

“It’s convenient. And cheap. And I have the legs for it,” said Bodo.

Luc scribbled every word in his notebook. “‘Legs for it’, this is great. About the sign.”

“What about it?”

“‘The world ends on Wednesday’. You’ve carried that message for years,” said Luc.

“I don’t follow,” said Bodo.

“Why Wednesday?”

“The world has to end someday. Why not Wednesday?”

Luc was speechless.

“Do you gamble? Play the lottery?” asked Bodo.

“Sometimes,” said Luc.

“Okay. The odds of winning are really, really small. I have a one in seven chance of being right.”

“Okay, now I don’t follow,” said Luc.

“People guess about stuff all the time, mostly the future. I dunno, like retirement or did they marry the right person. They don’t know the truth, so they guess. I guess too, but about the end of the world,” said Bodo.

“So why the sign?”

“I wanna be on the record.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” said Luc.

“Who’s gonna know? The world’s over.”

Luc thought for a moment. “Can’t argue with that,” he said. “Thanks. I think I have what I need. I’ll write up an article and pitch it to the paper.”

“Sounds good,” said Bodo. “Oh, can you do me a favor?”

“What’s that?”

“Could you publish the story by Tuesday? The world’s gonna end on Wednesday.”

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in end of the world, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, storypraxis, Wednesday, world and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The World Ends on Wednesday

  1. Anything that tastes this much like Douglas Adams I can’t dislike. My other weaknesses are chocolate and god tuna steak.

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