The Cleaning Crew Incident

Johan stood in front of three dour looking lawyers dressed in black suits.

“Hector and I were on the seventh floor cleaning the Bertoni offices,” said Johan.

“What time were you in the Bertoni offices?” said the first lawyer.

“Around seven thirty. I was at reception and Hector was cleaning the bathroom. I remember it ‘cause he was singing and it echoed. He was butchering it as usual. ‘I got sunlight on a cloudy day.’ I told him it was ‘sunshine on a cloudy day,’ not sunlight. He always sings the wrong lyrics. Every day, day in and day out. It drives me crazy,” said Johan.

“Was that when it occurred?” said the second lawyer.

“No. An hour later we were on eight cleaning Benke Pharmaceutical. Hector was vacuuming and singing ‘dude looks like he’s lazy’ at the top of his lungs,” said Johan, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“What should it have been?” said the first lawyer.

“Are you kidding? ‘Dude looks like a lady?’ It’s Arrowsmith, man,” said Johan. The lawyers gave blank stares.

“You gotta be kidding me,” said Johan.

“Mr. Schmidt, please move on to the incident,” said the third lawyer.

“Okay. We were on nine. I should say that Hector knows this stuff bugs me and he did it on purpose, so it’s kinda his fault, too,” said Johan.

The lawyers glared at him.

“So anyway, we were cleaning Tunstall Industries when I heard Hector. He was singing ‘you’re an aging knight, willing to sacrifice for love.’ I was like, c’mon man, you gotta be doing that on purpose. He was laughin’ at me and said, yeah, he was. I was so, like, mad at this point I kinda snapped. That’s when I threw the stapler at him,” said Johan.

The lawyers started scribbling furiously in their notepads.

“I’d like to say I feel so bad and I’m sorry. I really hope the doctors can reattach it,” said Johan.

The lawyers ignored him.

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, sing, singing, song, story, storypraxis and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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