What Would the Evolutionarily Enlightened Do?

Weekends were already too short. Hugo didn’t want to waste more time getting caught in traffic. He needed to hurry up and relax before another five days of monotony.

Hugo snapped when he was delayed on the way to Home Depot. A police officer stopped him at an intersection to allow another marathon to impose it’s will on an unsuspecting city.

Hugo loathed jogging. His evolutionary mind couldn’t grasp the need for anyone to run voluntarily. Joggers weren’t fleeing from predators. Jogging isn’t a mating ritual. It didn’t advance the species in any way. Hugo was convinced the mob of joggers that bumbled past the hood of his SUV were the result of a recessive genetic mutation.

Humanity moved well beyond the need for exertive bipedal locomotion. Their minds conceived and produced far more efficient means of transportation. Reverting back to jogging was a smack against everything Hugo believed. As he sat in his SUV, waiting for the horde to pass, he convinced himself that he’d be doing humanity a favor by running them over. Only the strong survive. In this case, only the intelligent survive.

Just then, the police officer waved him through a gap in the joggers. They were lucky, Hugo told himself. He passed through the intersection. There was a Starbucks on the next corner. Hugo pulled into parking lot and asked himself, what would the evolutionarily enlightened do? Drink a caramel macchiato. The caffeine and sugar would most certainly calm him down and advance the species.


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in evolution, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, jogger, jogging, short fiction, short story, story, storypraxis, weekend and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to What Would the Evolutionarily Enlightened Do?

  1. I think he already had too much coffee–definitely a road-rage candidate!

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