Cat Poop Chocolate

Sam Truett arrived on his Segway at Chloe Greer’s home carrying a present. It was exquisitely wrapped in Mayan themed paper with a bright pink bow on top. He rang the doorbell and waited. As the seconds ticked away Sam admired the blooming daffodils in the Greer garden.

“Hello?” said Chloe.

“Happy birthday,” said Sam as he held out his gift. He closely watched her reaction. Chloe was easily the most attractive and unattainable woman he knew.

Chloe’s eyes brightened as she tousled the bow. “Thanks.” She grabbed the present and sat on the front porch. Sam stayed nearby. A car pulled into the driveway as she tore open the wrapping.

“Ooo, chocolate. Thanks, Sam.”

“It’s not just any chocolate. It’s the best chocolate in the world. It came straight from Ecuador.”

“What came from Ecuador?” The tall, athletic frame of Grant Ferro leapt the stairs onto the porch. “Hey, Dilbert,” he said to Sam as he messed up his hair.

“It’s amazing. It’s dark chocolate but it’s so smooth and sweet. What is it?” said Chloe as Grant helped himself to a piece.

“Ever heard of Kopi Luwak coffee? It’s kinda like that,” said Sam.

Grant spit violently onto the daffodils. “You freak! What’s the matter with you?”

“What?” said Chloe.

“It’s cat poop chocolate,” said Grant as he soiled the daffodils.

Chloe looked at Sam.

“Technically, it’s not from a cat,” said Sam as Chloe laughed. “But it tastes amazing, right? And it’s totally rare.”

“Then how’d you find it?” asked Chloe.

“I have a friend from Ecuador. On the internet. Uribe told me about it. He even got it for me.”

“Big shock. The geek’s gotta find his loser friends online. Lemme guess, you’re a gamer,” said Grant.

“Back off, Grant. He’s my friend, too,” snapped Chloe.

“If you must know, Uribe and I’re part of the same yarnbombing group,” said Sam.

“Really?” said Chloe.

“What? You mean, like knitting? What d’ya do, knit with your grandma?” said Grant.

“Actually, yeah. She taught me how. We yarnbomb together,” said Sam.

“That’s so cool,” said Chloe.

“Cool? Are you kidding me? You’re a nut bar,” said Grant.

“No. I find guys who do stuff with their grandmothers cool. I think guys who’re artistic and globally aware cool. I think it’s cool to try new thinks like cat poop chocolate. I think you’re the nut bar,” said Chloe. Her eyes flared

Both Sam and Grant stood in stunned silence. Slowly, Grant skulked back to his car under Chloe’s steely glare. Once he’d left, Chloe smiled at Sam and reached for his hand. “Would you teach me how to yarnbomb?”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in birthday, chocolate, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, Kopi Luwak, Segway, short fiction, short story, story, yarnbomb and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Cat Poop Chocolate

  1. Janet says:

    I feel better now that I read this…besides the chuckles it induced. The other year I posted a poem entitled dog-poop brownies:) This is its perfect sidekick! That poem is posted on frontporchpoetry-janet.blogspot.com or at christart.

  2. jkdeblieck says:

    Love your blog! I’ve nominated you for a Leibster award. Check out my blog for details. 🙂 http://simplyscribblings.blogspot.com/

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