Bear Bait

Tyler sat in the swing on the front porch, plugged into his iPod. His sister Dana burst out the front door and yanked the headphones off his head.

“Wa!” said Tyler as he whipped around. “You scared the living crap outta me.

Dana listened to the faint music from the headphones. “Who is that?”

“John Smith and the Girlfriend Electrics.”

“What kind of stupid name is that?”

“They’re ska.”

“And you’re such a dork. No one listens to ska. That went out in the 90’s. Why don’t you listen to something modern?”

“Because it’s stupid. Pop music is prefab trash. It’s like the trailer park of the music world.”

“Whatever,” said Dana as she started stretching.

“What’re you doing?”

“I’m going for a run.”

“Why?”

“It’s good for you. It’s called exercise. You should do it once in a while.”

“No way. Running’s a good idea only when you’re chased by a bear. I don’t see any around, so I’m good.”

“Funny. Still, you should exercise more, get rid of some of your flab,” said Dana as she pinched at Tyler’s side. He squirmed away.

“Why, so I can be like you, miss zero percent body fat? Look at you. You look like a famine survivor. When the apocalypse hits, plump people like me will out live bean poles like you. Bear Grylls says the keys to survival are finding food and water. I have enough resources stored up for a least a week,” said Tyler, patting his stomach. “You wouldn’t last a day.”

“Now that’s a Bear I’d like to find in the woods.”

“Careful, don’t overheat.”

“You’re a nutcase.”

“A nutcase who’ll out survive you.”

Dana put her hands on her hips. “That’s not true.”

“Oh yeah, why?”

“When the world falls apart, and we’re struggling to survive, and the bears attack, I’ll be able to outrun you.”

“So?”

“Only the slow ones get eaten,” said Dana. “See ya, bear bait.”

Tyler sneered as Dana jogged down the street. He put his headphones on, leaned back and closed his eyes. Just before he dozed off, he checked one more time for bears.


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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in bear, Bear Grylls, bears, exercise, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, jogging, short fiction, short story, siblings, ska, story, storypraxis, survival and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Bear Bait

  1. sweetopiagirl says:

    Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

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