Investing in the Surreal World

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAPerry slipped into his seat across from Norm. They were relaxing in the lounge at their curling club. They’d been playing on the same rink for years. Behind them eager curlers were vigorously sweeping up and down the ice.

“It was something to see,” said Norm. He took a sip of his coffee.

“What was?”

“The downgrade of the US credit rating.”

“Oh yeah. I’m not really worried about stuff like that,” said Perry.

“Why’s that?”

“I figured out this investing thing a long time ago,” said Perry.

Norm sat up. “Really.”

“Sure. Twelve years ago I bought a couple a lakes connected by a river.”

Norm frowned.

“It’s the smartest investment,” said Perry.

“Real estate.”

“Not just. Lakes.”

“Okay, explain this brilliant investment strategy,” said Norm.

Perry looked around to see if anyone was eavesdropping. He leaned forward across the table to Norm.

“You want to keep your investments liquid.”

“Oh, come on.”

“And you want to keep your portfolio diversified. That’s why I bought two,” said Perry.

“Should I even ask why they need to be joined by a river?”

“Revenue stream.”

Norm rubbed his face. “You know, puns are the lowest for of humor.”

“Great. That means they’re affordable.”

Norm rolled his eyes. “I wonder about you. So what’re your plans in the real world?”

Perry gave Norm a quizzical look. “Why in Sam Hill would I want to be in the real world? Economies all over the globe are collapsing. Some people are still trying to kill us just because we’re not them. The world’s angrier, busier and dirtier than ever before. You can slog your way through the real world if you want to, but I’ll be off fishing in my lakes.”

Norm slumped back in his seat. “Huh.”

“That’s right.”

Norm scratched his chin. For a few seconds he listened to the sound of granite stones sliding down the ice. “So, who’s your realtor?”

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in economy, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, investment, real world, retirement, short fiction, short story, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Investing in the Surreal World

  1. segmation says:

    Surprising ending. I wasn’t expecting this!

  2. muggleinconverse says:

    Thoroughly entertaining and leaves you thinking. Nicely done.

  3. Joe Gersh says:

    Great story. Thanks for sharing.

  4. surreal ending for sure…loved it!!
    congratulations on being freshly pressed.

  5. zookyworld says:

    Perry has a good point! And if the fish aren’t biting in one lake, simply get in your rowboat and row to the other lake.

  6. dmchale says:

    Very entertaining. Nice write.

  7. I agree, why would I want to be in the real world?

  8. bdh63 says:

    I like river front property on de Nile myself. Seems like there’s always some going cheap. 🙂 Nice story!

  9. dmchale says:

    http://www.dlmchale.com writes: Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed. I enjoyed reading your post and will spend some additional time on your blog in the hopes of experiencing some more of your talented and “authentic” voice. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. It was fabulous!

  10. Woah! Surprising but i like it!

  11. simplyndsi says:

    Reblogged this on Simply Lyndsi and commented:
    A little humor and thought-provoking truth. 😉

  12. Pingback: Freshly Riffed 30: There’s Blood On The Bed, But Here In My Head, I’m Feeling Fine | A VERY STRANGE PLACE

  13. artsygenius says:

    I love it! I bought a house last year… guess I should have looked for a lake property! Thanks. 😀

  14. had a few smiles here and there… thanks

  15. Kavita Joshi says:

    very interesting post dear…enjoyed reading and now re-blogging to my blog as well 🙂 thanks for sharing

  16. Kavita Joshi says:

    my blog is at http://talkingexperience.wordpress.com in case you find it interesting

  17. Venom says:

    An interesting question occurs to me: Why do both Norm and Perry considerer the financial sector the “real word” — more real than lakes and flowing waters? (Well, because they are investors, I reckon.)

    Should the story’s title not be “Investing in the Real World”?

  18. Johanna says:

    Thanks for the laugh! Loved the story 🙂

  19. Nika says:

    I used to be a curler before I moved south. I really miss it! Also, I love a good pun.

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