Keychain Wisdom


It was a perfect day for baseball. Scott and Paolo snuck out of work for a Thursday afternoon matinee. Scott scored two scalped tickets for seats down the third base line.

They reached their seats right at first pitch.

“Wanna dog? It’s on me,” said Paolo. He reached in his front pocket for cash.

“If you’re buyin’,” said Scott.

“Hold these,” said Paolo. He handed Scott his keys. The hotdog vendor saw Paolo wave his hand and headed their way.

“What’s this? ‘Boyfriend’,” said Scott. He held up a pewter heart on Paolo’s keychain. “Is this in case you forget?”

“Yeah, Amy gave it to me. It’s a set. Her’s says ‘Girlfriend’. It just something she bought.”

“Why do we do stuff like that? My sister has a necklace with a pendant that says ‘Believe’. Believe what?”

“I know, right? It’s like we’re asking inanimate objects to tell us what to do,” said Paolo.

“Or at least remind us when we forget,” said Scott.

“In that case, at least it should be something practical, like ‘Buy Groceries’ or ‘Brush Your Teeth’.”

“‘Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street’,” said Scott.

“That’s more like something your mom would give you,” said Paolo.

“Yeah. ‘Call Your Mother’,” laughed Scott.

“They should make keychains n’ stuff with phrases like ‘Amy’s Birthday is’ whatever. Or ‘Your Anniversary is’. Make it so you can personalize it. Something that helps guys remember important stuff.” said Paolo.

“I’d buy something like that,” said the guy sitting behind them.

“I know, right? It makes more sense that ‘Girlfriend’ or ‘Believe’,” said Scott.

“Like a medic alert bracelet. That’s brilliant. We gotta patent that. We’d make millions. It’d literally save men all over the world,” said Paolo.

“Then, with our vast fortune we could buy this team and turn them into winners. Man, they stink,” said Scott.

“We’d be saving an entire city. It’s a win-win,” said Paolo.

The guy behind them groaned after a strikeout. “I’d buy that, too.”


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
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