It was another Friday night at home for Tom and Jerry. The college roommates were parked in front of the TV, watching nothing in particular.
“I’m bored. Wanna see a movie?” said Tom.
“Nah, I wanna make a movie,” said Jerry.
“A retro horror, like ‘Reign of the Psycho Killer Grapefruit’,” said Jerry.
Tom thought for a second. “Celery’s way scarier than grapefruit,” he said.
“How do you figure that?” said Jerry.
“It’s all leafy and mysterious. And it has those strings that run down the length of it to strangle people,” said Tom.
“You just described string cheese. Grapefruit can squirt acid at people. How about this? a grapefruit gets hit with gamma radiation. It’s acid becomes nuclear reactive and melts everything it touches,” said Jerry.
“Everything except the mutant celery’s leaves which act as shields from the acid. It uses it’s killer strings to squeeze the juice from the grapefruit, rendering it completely harmless. Oh, and string cheese doesn’t have leaves, idiot,” said Tom.
“The acid would totally burn through the celery strings. It’s radioactive, moron,” said Jerry.
“So is the celery, butt munch,” said Tom.
“Wait, I got a great idea. Let’s make the movie about a war between radioactive fruit versus vegetables,” said Jerry.
“Hey, I like it,” said Tom.
“But what side is the tomato on?”
“That’s the plot twist. It’s a double agent tomato,” said Tom.
“That’s awesome. Let’s do it,” said Jerry.
“You get the fruit and veggies. I’ll get the video camera,” said Tom.
Jerry took a step toward the kitchen and stopped. “I couldn’t afford real food this month. You?”
“I’m living on noodle soup and cereal,” said Tom.
The two stared at each other dumbfounded. They slowly sat back down on the couch. Tom grabbed the remote and surfed through the TV channels. “Hey, the ‘Antiques Roadshow’ is on,” he said.