Everything I Know I Learned From Google

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The morning sun shone brightly through Phillip’s sixth storey window. He opened it wide and breathed in the fresh morning air.

On the ledge beside his window stood a disheveled looking man, peering down toward the street.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to bother you,” said Phillip.

The man said nothing. He simply stared at Phillip in surprise.

“Did you want to be alone? I mean, do you mind if I stay here a minute? I just love the air first thing in the morning,” said Phillip.

“As long as you don’t try to stop me,” said the man.

“Stop you? From what?”

“Jumping. I’m not gonna change my mind. I’m not,” said the man. A gust of wind blew and the man clung to the side of the building.

“Well, alright then. I admire your determination.”

“You do?”

“Yep. You made a decision. No second guessing. No wondering. I’m impressed,” said Phillip.

“Thank-you,” said the man nervously.

Phillip leaned out the window and basked in the sun. “I’ve always struggled with decisions. I dunno. They always get me. It’s hard to know what to do. Know what I do?”

“No.”

“I Google.”

“What?”

“I go searching for answers on Google. Think about it. The internet is the single largest repository of human knowledge in history. And Google is the gatekeeper. If I have a question, I type it in Google and in, like, point zero zero zero zero one seconds I get an answer. It’s way easier than wasting all that time worrying. All I’ve learned that’s really important comes from Google.”

“But what about the deep questions? You know, ‘why am I here?’ and ‘what’s the meaning of life?’ There are a million possible answers,” said the man on the ledge.

“That’s what’s so beautiful about it. I just pick the first one that comes up,” said Phillip.

The man carefully turned to face Phillip. “You’re not thinking for yourself. All you’re doing is replacing religion with Google.”

“Exactly. None of us think for ourself, really. We find something to place our faith in and off we go.”

“What about God?”

“You say God, I say Google. I don’t see any difference,” said Phillip.

“What about hope? That there’s something more than all this? You gotta wonder,” said the man. Another gust blew past and he clung desperately to the wall.

“If I want to know, I ask Google. See? No fuss, no muss,” said Phillip with a smile.

“Google.”

“Yep.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I’m wondering why I’m the only one on this ledge.”

“I dunno. Let me ask Google,” said Phillip. He closed the window and went over to his computer.

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, Google, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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