The Illogical Existence of Urban Vampires

vampire

“If I were a vampire, I don’t think I’d live in the city,” said Mr. Tweed. He set down his salad fork and stared off into space.

Kristy and Bailey looked at each other. Bailey rolled her eyes. “I’ll bite. Why not?” she asked.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s too bright at night. All those lights would be impossible to avoid. It’d be death by lamplight,” said Mr. Tweed. He squinted and nodded thoughtfully.

“I have nothing to say to that,” said Kristy.

“It’s interesting, isn’t it?” said Mr. Tweed.

“I can honestly say I hadn’t thought of that before,” said Bailey.

Everyone went back to eating their lunch. Suddenly, Mr. Tweed sat back in his chair and looked at the ceiling. “Come to think of it, vampires don’t live in cities,” he said.

Kristy paused in mid bite.

“I don’t follow,” said Bailey.

“Think about it. If vampires lived in cities you’d see little piles of dust under street lights. Dead vampires littering the urban landscape,” said Mr. Tweed with authority.

A silence settled over the table.

“Your honor, you have court in an hour,” said Kristy.

“Ah, yes. Right,” said Mr. Tweed. “Time to make important decisions.”

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, vampires and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Illogical Existence of Urban Vampires

  1. misskzebra says:

    I thought vampires were only vulnerable to sunlight, rather than other forms of light?

  2. Depends on the wavelength of light. Are vampires vulnerable to light only if it covers the broad spectrum from the sun, or is there a certain wavelength? Maybe they are susceptible to the light from the mercury vapor streetlamps? Light is light, after all.

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