If Stupid Needed a Warning Label

warning label

Lazlo and Tracy were huddled in the arena for another of their son’s 6am hockey games.

“I’ve lost all faith in humanity,” said Lazlo.

“You still had faith in humanity?”

“A little, but now it’s gone. Poof,” said Lazlo.

“My dear, what’s caused your personal crisis in the human race?” asked Tracy.

“Why is it call the human race? Who are we racing? Anyway, look at my coffee cup. ‘Warning: coffee is hot!’ Who doesn’t know coffee’s hot?” said Lazlo.

“They put it there because some lady spilled her coffee while driving and burned herself. She sued and won millions,” said Tracy.


“Yeah. My hair dryer has a warning label warning me not to use it in the bath tub. You know somebody tried it. Once,” said Tracy.

The crowd applauded.

“They scored again,” said Tracy.

“Come to think of it, I bought a heat gun for the shop that had a warning not to use it as a hair dryer. And last week we received a shipment of hammers with the warning label ‘harmful if swallowed’. I can’t believe people are that stupid,” said Lazlo.

“Honey, you once licked a frozen pole just to see if it’d stick,” said Tracy.

“It was an object lesson for the kids. I was proving a point,” said Lazlo.

“Lemme guess, you answered the eternal question: can you still have fun if your tongue is ripped out of your mouth? Nice.”

“And you can, once the blood stops gushing,” said Lazlo.

The crowd cheered again.

“What’s the score now?”

“Six nothing for them,” said Lazlo. “And it’s still the first period.”



About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, stupid, warning label and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to If Stupid Needed a Warning Label

  1. Alex H says:

    This post is incredible.Nice share and keep on with good work.Alex,Thanks.

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