The Lonely Life of a Superhero


The sun was setting over Blueberry Hill. The fluffy clouds in the distance painted a dark purple against the vibrant orange of the evening sky. Calvin sat on the hood of his parent’s Ford, cuddling next to Becky.

“Where d’ya think we’ll be in ten years?”

“I dunno,” said Calvin.

“D’ya think we’ll still be together?”

“I guess so.”

“Wanna know what I think?”

“Do I really have a choice?”

Becky elbowed Calvin in the ribs. “I’m serious, Cal.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“We’ll get married someday. Maybe get a house on this hill and sit like this every night. That’d be wonderful,” said Becky with a long contented sigh.

Calvin was silent.

“That’d be nice, right Cal? Calvin?” She sat up and looked at him. Calvin looked like he was in pain. “What’s wrong?”

“I,” Calvin said before he paused. “I never really thought about marriage before.”

“Maybe it’s time to start.”

“I dunno. It doesn’t really fit with my plans.”

“What plans?”

“I kinda wanted to become, like, a hero. Maybe even a superhero,” said Calvin as he stared into the distance.

“Say that again?”

“A hero. You know, a hero.”

“I hope you mean fireman or policeman.”

“Not exactly. More like the guys on TV.”

“And what would your super power be? Stupidity?”

“That’s way harsh,” said Calvin.

“What d’ya expect? You totally don’t make any sense right now.”

“Lemme explain. You know those TV channels that show really old TV shows? I started watching one called McGyver. It’s awesome. The guy can do anything with anything. He’s like ‘where’s the nearest maintenance closet?’ so he can disarm a nuclear bomb with crazy stuff like bunny slippers, spray paint and a pylon. I figured, why couldn’t I do that?”

“‘Because you’re as smart as a bag o’ wet hammers. It’s not real. It’s totally scripted. Haven’t you ever seen Mythbusters? They disprove stuff like that all the time.”

“Maybe Mythbusters isn’t real,” said Calvin.

“Because McGyver’s a story and Mythbusters is reality TV.”

“The X-Files was stories and lots of people believe in aliens.”

“Duh, Calvin. Haven’t you ever heard of Area 51? It’s totally real. Seriously, you’re so messed up,” said Becky as she slid off the hood of the car.

“Where’re ya goin’?”

“I’m walkin’ home. I’m just glad I learned the truth about you before it was too late,” said Becky.

Calvin stared intently at her as she stormed off into the darkness. “It’s not easy being a superhero.”


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, hero, humor, humour, marriage, short fiction, short story, story, superhero and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Lonely Life of a Superhero

  1. misskzebra says:

    I have dated boys this stupid. Hopefully never again.

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