Boardroom At The Advertising Agency



There was a long pause in the boardroom as the creative team looked blankly at each other.


“How about ‘Smart phones for stupid people’?”


“Tucker, we can’t call our target group stupid,” said Natasha.


Tucker looked around the room sheepishly. “I just thought, you know, it’s funny.”


“We don’t make fun of them. We don’t shout at them, either. They can hear us. We’re speaking to an intelligent group of people,” lectured Willis, CEO of the Lumis Advertising Agency.


Tucker looked at the people around him. “I wasn’t shouting.”


“What about ‘Smart phones for people who hate smart phones’?” said Andy.


“If they hate smart phones, they’re not gonna be in the market for one, are they?” said Katharine.


“I’ve always liked ‘Smart phones for a smart society’,” said Rico.


“Better,” said Willis, “but still not enough.”


“Do we have to mention smart phones, per se?” asked Tucker.


Natasha leaned over to Cohen, “Tucker’s such an idiot,” she whispered.


“It is our product line,” said Katharine.


“I think I follow you,” said Willis.


“You do?” said Natasha.


“You do?” asked Tucker.


“Yeah. Instead of selling the product, we sell a lifestyle,” said Willis.


“Sure,” said Tucker.


“Brilliant,” said Rico.


Natasha blew kisses at him.


“You wish,” said Rico.


“What do you see as the ideal lifestyle of our target group?” asked Willis.


The boardroom went silent as all eyes focused on Tucker. He nervously shuffled his papers. “I think they’re hip. Or at least they want to be. And they’re young, but not actually. Maybe they think they’re still young. And maybe they feel disconnected from the world and, you know, the smart phone’s their way back in. We tell their story somehow. You know, like how they kinda rejoin the world through their smart phone. Maybe reconnect with a long lost love or something.”


No one spoke. Tucker held his breath. A condescending smirk formed across Natasha’s face.


Suddenly, Willis smacked the table with his hand. “That’s brilliant. Tucker, you’ve hit on something big,” he said.


“What? Are you serious? That’s nothing but sentimental crap,” said Natasha.


“That’s the point. People eat that stuff up,” said Willis.


“No. No, they don’t. They want sexy. They want adventure. They want us to lie to them. They want us to create a world where everything revolves around them. Long lost love is a stupid romantic ideal no body believes in anymore,” fumed Natasha.


“Seriously, you’ve had your heart broken, right?” said Tucker. Natasha sneered at him.


“Natasha, listen. You’re right. We’re lying to them. That’s the point. We’re playing our target group like cheap guitars. Do you really think electronics wrapped in a stupid piece of plastic is gonna reconnect some lonely schmuck with the real world? But when we’re done with them, that’s exactly what they’ll think.”


Natasha’s eyes widened with insight. “Brilliant.”


“That’s why we’re the best,” said Willis.


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in ad agency, advertising, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, smart phone, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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