Corey stared at the sign in the food court of the mall. ‘Disfarmer Institute of Photographic Studies’. He quickly made his way to the basement of the building. This was the fulfillment of a dream.
Arriving in the main lecture room, Corey glanced through his schedule. In five minutes he would start his first class, ‘The Art of the Selfie 101’.
Two students sitting behind him chatted excitedly.
“Who’s teaching this class?”
“Ooo, he’s French. I hear they’re very artistic.”
A man in a black turtleneck burst through the door. He rushed to the front of the class and pulled out an iPhone from his satchel. “Ladies and gentlemen, smile!” he said as he took a photo of himself in front of thirty bewildered students.
After making a shallow bow, he proclaimed, “That was a selfie. In taking that photo I demonstrated the single most important element of the selfie. Does anyone know what that is?”
Corey watched as several hands went up.
“Creativity,” said one student at the front of the class.
“Very good, but no,” said Professor Jejune, with a pompous smile. “Just kidding. An excellent answer. Anyone else?”
“Planning,” said another student.
Professor Jejune considered this for a second. “Very important. Absolutely true. Well done.”
“Irony,” came a voice from behind Corey. Chuckles sprinkled through the room.
Professor Jejune pointed to the back of the room. “What do you mean by that?”
“It’s just that, you know, it’s a selfie taken in a class about selfies,” explained the student.
“Like rain on your wedding day. Bravo!” said Jejune, triumphantly.
“Um, professor, what about perspective?” asked a girl sitting directly in front of Corey.
Professor Jejune applauded. “Absolutely essential. Clearly you grasp the nuances of the selfie.”
Corey rested his chin in hands and looked at ceiling tiles. He hoped everyone else was as overwhelmed as he felt.
“So you’re saying it’s all about planning?” asked the first student.
“No, you just said it, and you’re right. It’s all about planning AND spontaneity,” concluded Professor Jejune.
The girl sitting ahead of him tentatively raised her hand. “Professor? I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.”
Professor Jejune laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll explain.” He took off his glasses and leaned forward, as though to reveal a deep secret. “You see, the most important thing is the thing itself.”
The room was left hanging in silence.
“Whoa, he’s a genius,” whispered a voice at the back of the room.
Corey pulled out his cell phone, took a selfie and posted a tweet: ‘photography school. Not much about pictures, too much about life #educationsucks #deathtoselfies’