The Genius Of Laziness

Unknown

Sid ran his hands through his hair as he loaded a bootlegged copy of Flappy Bird onto his smartphone. It was 3:30 on a painfully ordinary Tuesday afternoon. A stack of files sat to his left. The computer monitor flipped over to a fish tank screensaver.

“Ahem.”

Sid jumped at the sudden appearance of his boss.

“Problem?” asked Nelson Sanderson, a balding, sixty year old man who always wore ill fitting suits.

Sid swiveled slowly in his chair, bracing himself for the impending lecture. What he got was a condescending roll of the eyes from Nelson.

“Go ahead,” said Sid.

“Go ahead and what?”

“Give it to me. It won’t make a difference, but y’know, we all know it’s coming,” said Sid.

Nelson stood, silent.

“Well, you can start by telling me I’m lazy, or whatever. Truth is I’m just not feelin’ it right now,” said Sid.

“Okay, you’re lazy,” said Nelson, with a flat expression.

“See? That’s not fair. You Boomers have it in for us Millenials,” moaned Sid.

Nelson held up his hand to silence Sid. “You want to know the truth?”

“This ought to be good,” said Sid, dripping with sarcasm.

“Your generation’s no lazier that mine. The difference is Boomers have more ingenuity than Millenials,” explained Nelson.

Sid’s face crinkled like he smelled a fart. “What?”

“Listen. The Boomers found new ways to be lazy. Microwaves so we don’t have to cook. Disposable everything so we never have to clean up. We even made the internet so you don’t have to leave the house to shop or look at, well, you know.”

Sid raised an eyebrow. “We invented social media.”

“Congratulations. That’s one.”

“Why are you being so harsh,” whined Sid.

“Because it’s not the laziness that kills me. It’s the lack of creativity you guys have in finding new ways to be lazy,” said Nelson.

This revelation made Sid lean back in his chair and think. “So what are you saying?”

“You wanna be lazy? Whatever. Just do it with a little more style. More ingenuity,” said Nelson. He tapped on the cubicle wall, turned and walked away.

Sid watched him for a second, then spun back around to his computer. “Leave it to the Boomers to take the fun out of laziness.”

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in Boomers, boss, creativity, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, laziness, lazy, Millenials, office, short fiction, short story, story, work and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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