The Evangelist Futurist Genius

He was the guy in the company everyone wanted to meet. Until a couple of days ago, Heidi had never before heard of a ‘Evangelist Futurist’, but word was that Sam Tanaka was a bona fide genius.

At first, all Heidi noticed were Sam Tanaka’s quirks. He refused to shake hands. He bumped elbows instead. At a strategic planning meeting, Sam Tanaka stood up and accused the entire company of being euphobic. No one know what that was until someone googled it. It’s the fear of hearing good news. That particular outburst cemented Sam Tanaka as a business god in the minds of the people of the company.

For weeks Heidi attempted to meet Sam Tanaka. When she’d approach he would avert his eyes and walk away briskly. She made several calls to set up an appointment. Every time she suggested, he was busy.

Heidi was not the kind of woman who was easily insulted. She wondered if he was a misogynist, but as she observed from afar, Sam Tanaka seemed willing to share his rich insights with everyone in the company except her.

Heidi was also not the type of person who was easily dissuaded. Sam Tanaka became prey to be hunted. She stalked him, tracked his movements, noted his habits. All the while she agonized over why he would avoid her, of all people. Solving that riddle consumed her.

Hours of scheming led Heidi to a decisive moment of action. She hid behind a crowd in an elevator, knowing Sam Tanaka would soon arrive. As they ascended through the floors, the crowd thinned out. In no time, she found herself alone with Sam Tanaka.

Heidi lunged for the emergency stop button. Sam Tanaka stood, frozen in place.

“Alright, we’re alone. It’s time we talked,” said Heidi, breathlessly.

“Okay,” said Sam Tanaka. He still refused to make eye contact.

“You’ve been avoiding me. Don’t deny it. We both know you have. Tell me, what did I do? What?”

Sam Tanaka shuffled his feet. “Caligynephobia,” he whispered.

“Cali- what? Spell it,” demanded Heidi.

As Sam Tanaka dictated, Heidi typed the word into her phone. She hit search. Her eyes widened as she read the words ‘Caligynephobia- the fear of beautiful women’.

“You think I’m beautiful?”

“Yes,” whispered Sam Tanaka.

A combination of relief and flattery overwhelmed Heidi. She grasped Sam Tanaka in an exuberant hug. “I had no idea. Please, let me help you deal with this terrible, terrible affliction. We’ll get through this together.”

“Thank you,” said Sam Tanaka.

As he nestled into her embrace, he smiled. Everything had transpired just as he had foreseen.


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in company, Evangelist, fiction, flash fiction, Futurist, genius, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Evangelist Futurist Genius

  1. I love the way this story meanders to its quirky conclusion. Well done!

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