Midnight Pizza


It started with the pursuit of whiter teeth. Cal was a piece of dental floss, moving in slow motion toward a mouth.

There were fangs.

Cal could feel his heart beat in his chest.

Suddenly, he knew. It was CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. Werewolf Blitzer. How could Cal have been so blind? Everything was clear to him now. He had to stop him before he harmed others.

Cal grabbed a free sample of Levitra. One of the numerous side effects might stop the werewolf. Blitzer swallowed the pills.

It worked.

A massive flood in Chengdu swept both of them down the raging Jinjiang river. Cal clung to a Geely car as long as his strength could hold.

Cal released his grip of the Geely’s steering wheel. It was like going down a waterslide lined with carp. The wave crashed on the floor of the Nikkei Stock Exchange.

Exhausted and soaked to the skin, Cal rose to his feet. Surrounding him were a group of feral youth.

“What fresh hell is this?” asked Cal.

“Not hell,” said one of the feral youth. “Extreme heaven.”

Cal watched the feral youth leap off a cliff. Cal shrugged and jumped. Only then did he realize the feral youth were wearing flying suits. At the moment of panic, Cal remembered he was dental floss.

Giant fingers grabbed him and wove him into a tennis racquet. Back and forth he batted a little green ball across a court. The crowd erupted in cheers as Cal’s tennis star knelt to the ground in celebration.

The noise startled him.

Cal sat up on the couch, the remote still stuck to his face. It took a few seconds for his eyes to focus on the flickering screen. It took a few more seconds to feel the indigestion from eating an entire pizza after midnight.

Cal rubbed his eyes, scratched his belly and went to bed.


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in CNN, dental floss, dream, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, Levitra, pizza, short fiction, short story, story, Wolf Blitzer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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