Strategy Meeting of the United Fast Food Workers Union


“Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we’re on the edge of something big,” said Stan.

“I’ve heard that before,” quipped Gus. He chuckled and looked around the conference table to see if anyone else thought he was funny.

Stan ignored the snide remark. “This is unprecedented. The UFFWU can finally use leverage to get what we want.”

“Like what, healthy food?” said Gus.

Stan rolled his eyes.

“Shut yer pie hole,” snapped Paul, “I wanna hear this.”

“The social landscape has changed,” said Stan.

“So we go national. Focus on one big chain and bring ‘em to their knees,” interrupted Sam.

“Been there, tried that. It was a huge flop,” said Paul.

“No kidding. That was awful. Remember when the police broke the lines? They were really motivated to move us out. That’s what we get for goin’ after a doughnut chain,” said Gus.

“Do you people want to hear this?” asked Stan. He looked at the two women sitting at the table. Maria and Carla both nodded.

“Okay,” said Stan as he adjusted his sleeves. “As you know, Colorado and Washington state have decriminalized marijuana. Thousands of people have flocked there to enjoy a toke.”

“I was in Colorado Springs for 4-20. It was awesome,” said Sam.

“Exactly. What happens to people after they smoke up?” asked Stan.

“They get high?” asked Sam.

Stan shook his head in disbelief. “Yeah, but after that, what happens?”

“Oh yeah, they get the munchies,” said Sam.

“A state full of stoners looking for fast food. What happens if we take that away?”

The room went eerily silent.

“I don’t get it,” said Sam.

“What do you expect a bunch of stoners to do? In case you’re not clear on the concept, stoners don’t do anything,” said Gus.

“For once I agree with Gus,” added Paul.

“Actually, you’re both wrong,” said Stan. “Stoners do three things: smoke weed, eat fast food and get in the way. That’s how they protest. And celebrate. Stoners are speed bumps on the highway of life. I say we use them to our advantage.”

Maria sat up in her chair. “That’s brilliant. Owners need stoners-”

Sam giggled. “That rhymes.”

Maria cast a condescending glance at Sam “If we keep stoners from buying fast food, maybe even getting them on our side, we force the fast food owners to cave to our demands.”

“Once one state falls, all the others will follow suit,” said Carla.

Gus and Paul looked at each other and smiled.

Sam giggled. “Rhymes are funny.”


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in Colorado, fast food, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, marijuana, short fiction, short story, story, union, Washington and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Strategy Meeting of the United Fast Food Workers Union

  1. Mabel Grimes says:

    What an insidious plot! Thanks for sharing this entertaining little story.

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