To Thine Own Slef Be True


It was an ideal afternoon for baseball. Warren settled in his seat after the singing of the national anthem. He took a deep breath and looked around. The guy sitting next to him was wearing a tank top, revealing several large tattoos.

One stood out among all the others. It was written in cursive down his forearm. It read ‘To Thine Own Slef Be True’.

“Bummer of a tattoo,” Warren said pleasantly.

“What did you say?” snapped the tattooed man.

“I said, ‘bummer’. It’s misspelled. ‘To Thine Own Slef’. I guess that’s an oops,” said Warren.

“I know what it says,” said the man, gruffly. He turned away from Warren.

Warren was transfixed by the error on the stranger’s arm. “If you don’t mind me asking…”

The tattooed man turned and stared at Warren. “I mind.”

“It’s just that, I was wondering, since they’re permanent and everything, like, what happened?”

The tattooed man shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. “My tattoo artist can’t spell, obviously.”

“Wouldn’t you know that going in? Especially if it’s a quote, I mean.”

“I didn’t make him take a literary test, okay? Mind your own business.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Absolutely. Sorry,” said Warren. He paused for a second, but just couldn’t let it drop. “Just, if you’d indulge one more question. Just one more?”

The tattooed man glared at Warren with violence in his eyes.

“One more, then I’ll leave you alone if you want. I promise,” said Warren.

“One more.”

“Okay. I just wonder how something like that affects your life. What do you do for a living?”

The tattooed man hung his head in shame. “I’m an English teacher.”

“No way,” said Warren, desperately trying to suppress a smile.

“This hasn’t made my life any easier, I can tell you,” said the tattooed man.

“Did you at least ask the guy to fix it? For no charge, I mean?” asked Warren.

“I tried, but he said no. I nearly lost my job over it,” confessed the tattooed man.

Warren reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a business card. “Today’s your lucky day. I’m a lawyer and I’m sure I can help.”

The man looked at Warren’s card. “Really? Thanks.”

Warren sat back in his seat and smiled. “I should be thanking you. Now I can write off this game as a business expense.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in baseball, English teacher, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, lawyer, misspelled tattoo, misspelled tattoos, short fiction, short story, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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