In the twelve years he’d been with the company, Luciano had never been invited to a meeting with upper management. It happened to be the day after he threw out his back helping his brother move.
Luciano stumbled into the bathroom first thing in the morning and crashed through the medicine cabinet in search of pharmaceutical relief. Isabella, his wife, entered the bathroom. She accidentally kicked a fallen bottle behind the toilet.
“What did you take?” she asked.
“I don’t know. A couple of the blue pills.”
“We have three blue pills. Which one did you take?”
“Does it matter?” said Luciano, in agony.
Isabella picked up three bottles to show him. “This one’s a sleeping pill. This one’s for pain. This one we got for our trip to Las Vegas for our, ahem, alone time. Which one did you take?”
Luciano’s eyes widened. “I took the sleeping pills. What do I do?”
Isabella marched Luciano to the kitchen and poured a pot of coffee down his throat.
“Do you think this’ll really work?”
“I’m open to any other suggestions,” said Isabella.
Luciano fought courageously to stay awake during his morning commute. He only nodded off a couple of times, waiting at red lights. When arrived at work, he had just enough time to get to the board room. Luciano groaned as he sat in his chair. Not only was it exquisitely comfortable, he suddenly felt the urgent need to pee.
Gunther Radcliff, the CEO, stood up. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have an important decision to make that could transform the future of our Speedy Dog restaurants. We need to switch to a center cut hot dog bun. Our studies show that it appeals to a more sophisticated clientele.”
“Wouldn’t that alienate our current customer base? Side cut hot dog buns are an honest, working man’s bun,” interrupted an older member of the board.
The next thing Luciano remembered was waking up in an empty board room. His pants were soaking wet. He skulked out of the room, hoping to sneak to his car. He opened a door and stood face-to-face with Gunter Radcliff.
“Thank you for your presence at the meeting,” said Gunther.
“Sir, I want to apologize,” said Luciano.
“No need, man. You taught me an important lesson today.”
Luciano could barely contain his surprise. “I did? What?”
“Stupid meetings are a complete waste of time.”