The Power of the Spork


Gunther poked thoughtfully at his moo shoo pork. “I think the greatest invention of the last one hundred years is the spork.”

Tristan and Mack gave each other a look.

“Um, the computer?” said Tristan, sarcastically.

“What about electricity?” asked Mack.

“I could make an argument for the automobile.”

“Or the cell phone.”

“ATM banking.”



“Yeah, and modern surgical technique.”

Gunther shook his head. “Wrong, wrong, wrong. It’s the spork.”

Tristan pretended to slap Gunther.

“I’ll bite. Why is it the spork?” asked Mack.

“I admit, all those other things are amazing, but none of them are as revolutionary. Think about it, for hundreds and even thousands of years, people have been using the same utensil for eating. The knife and fork, chopsticks. The same antiquated means of performing on of the single most important of human activities,” said Gunther.

He was greeted with a stunned silence, so Gunther continued.

“The spork universalized all forms of food. See? I’m eating Chinese food. But with the same utensil I can eat soup or ice cream or even salad. It’s amazing.”

“Are you having a stroke right now? I mean, seriously. Are you smelling burnt toast?” asked Tristan.

“What? It makes sense,” said Gunther.

Mack nodded in agreement. “I see your point.”

“You too? Is this a guy thing?” asked Tristan.

“A great invention doesn’t have to be earth shattering,” said Gunther.

“Yeah, it kinda does,” said Tristan.

“That’s not what I meant,” said Gunther.

“Let me. The spork is like a silent revolution. Everybody uses them, they just don’t notice. If you think about it, it’s kinda conspiratorial,” said Mack.

“Conspiratorial? Using big words doesn’t make your stupid idea any smarter,” said Tristan.

“Illuminati and stuff. Yeah. Maybe it’s part of some world wide conspiracy to control humans in their base functions,” said Gunther.

“And using one means you’re just another pawn in their master plan,” said Mack.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” said Gunther. He threw his spork on the floor. “It’s time to fight back.”

Mack held up one fist. “Stick it to the man! Power to the people!”

Tristan hung her head in shame. “I seriously need to find better friends.”


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in conspiracy, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, invention, short fiction, short story, spork, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Power of the Spork

  1. Tony Trudgian says:

    Thanks for enlightening me, I’ve never seen one! How about a “sporknife”!

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