Overheard in a pretentious café:
Hipster 1: I was thinking about it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that free speech isn’t actually free.
Hipster 2: I’m curious to know how you made that deduction.
Hipster 1: Look at the people who died in the Paris magazine.
Hipster 2: That was because of some muslim extremists and the flagrant abuse of the human rights.
Hipster 1: How can you declare a human right that cannot be universally enforced? It’s inconsistent. Human rights must be universally applicable and universally enforceable. Free speech is neither. I question if any so called ‘human right’ meets both those conditions.
Hipster 2: Interesting, but misguided. Human rights are ideals.
Hipster 1: That don’t exist in the actual world. They’re like Santa Claus and unicorns. Wonderful myths.
Hipster 2: But we’re human. We exist for our myths. We create the unattainable and adopt it into the real world.
Hipster 1: That’s obtuse. You could use that argument to justify the actions of the terrorists. They were simply applying their myths to the real world with bloody results.
Hipster 2: But I believe that satire must be protected.
Hipster 1: What is satire? I mean, really?
Hipster 2: The world needs to critical self-examination through humour.
Hipster 1: I don’t see why.
Hipster 2: That’s because you don’t understand it. Satire is a complex form of humour. A powerful tool in the arsenal of truth.
Hipster 1: You and your ideals! And how does it do that? Most of it isn’t really funny.
Hipster 2: Now who’s obtuse?
Hipster 1: Then explain it to me.
Hipster 2: Simple. Anything can be satire. You just say so. Anything stupid you say can be protected by claiming it’s satire.
Hipster 1: So this entire conversation could be satire?
Hipster 2: Absolutely.
Hipster 1: Well then. I didn’t think we could be so funny.
Hipster 2: We are so clever.