The two men sat across from each other. The buzzing from the florescent lights was the only sound brave enough to break the silence.
Drew Sookhdeo sat behind his desk, flipping through the resume of the young man seated before him. Drew was struggling to contain a profound sense of grief, as though he, in some small way, was presiding over the last days of Western Civilization.
The young man looked at him with the confidence of a big game hunter standing over his vanquished prey.
“It says here under ‘Accomplishments’ that you’re Thane of Winterhold. I’m not familiar with that title,” said Drew.
“It’s in Skyrim. On my PS3,” explained the young man.
“A video game? That’s not really an accomplishment.”
“Sure it is. It took a long time to get that.”
Drew glanced at the resume. “Was it as hard to become leader of the Dark Brotherhood?”
“Oh, that was really hard. I worked on that a couple of hours. It wiped me out.”
“But it’s not real.”
“So is the internet, right? It’s like I conquered the internet,” said the young man, smiling.
Drew stared blankly at the young man.
“You’ll notice I’m also two time International Turkey Bowling Federation Champion. In the real world, by the way,” said the young man.
Drew rubbed his face. “Turkey bowling? And what makes it international?”
“My buddy Quang is from Viet Nam. He and I set it up the ITBF.”
“Did you win a trophy?”
The young man was stunned. “I didn’t know you wanted me to bring it.”
“No, it’s alright,” mumbled Drew. This young man had a degree from a prominent university, but those were as common as snowflakes in a Manitoba winter. And about as useful.
“So, do I get the job?” asked the young man.
Drew sighed as he nodded. “We can start you out at $35000 a year. Here is a copy of our benefit plan.”
The young man grimaced.
“Is that a problem?” asked Drew.
“I was hoping for, like $80000.”
“To start? That’s not possible. You’d have to work here 20 years to even come close to that,” explained Drew.
The young man stood up. “I’ve accomplished too much to start back at the bottom.” He turned on his heels and strode out the door.
Silent tears formed in Drew’s eyes. He knew this was yet another sign of the pending apocalypse.