“I wonder if there really is some odour that would make me completely irresistible to women, like on the commercials?” asked Perry. He looked over at Rachel, his girlfriend of three months.
“Huh?” said Rachel. She was busy looking at her phone.
“Like pheromones or something. I was just wondering,” said Perry.
“I don’t know,” snapped Rachel.
“I can’t get a hold of my mom,” said Rachel.
“What do you mean, so? It’s my mom,” said Rachel. She stopped looking at her phone long enough to shoot a menacing look at Perry.
“Didn’t you talk to her yesterday?”
“I call her every day,” said Rachel.
Perry looked stunned. “Really?”
“Yeah. Don’t you?”
“That’s not how things work in my family,” said Perry.
“Okay, I’ll bite. What?”
“We don’t call each other unless something’s wrong. As long as we don’t hear from each other, life’s great.”
“That doesn’t sound like a very healthy family dynamic to me,” said Rachel.
“Hey. You have your family dynamics, and I have mine,” said Perry.
“At least I’m not freaking out because my mom is out of cell range,” said Perry.
“What are you suggesting? Well?” demanded Rachel. The veins on her forehead bulged out.
Perry stopped himself from speaking. He was frightened by the throbbing in her neck.
“On behalf of my future happiness, I choose to never speak again,” said Perry.
“Just like you don’t talk to your mother? I don’t think so.”
“You think you can just tune me out, just because I’m mad at you?”
“I’m confused,” said Perry. His voice cracked.
“We’re new in this relationship, so let me explain something to you. When I’m mad at you, we talk to each other. When everything is great, we talk to each other. And you WILL start calling you mother regularly,” said Rachel.
Perry breathed a sigh of relief. “Somewhere, I think my mother is smiling.”