A Soccer Mom’s Lament


Bethany and Anya were caught in traffic while running errands in preparation for a PTA fundraiser.

“There should be a law that people remove their ‘Baby on Board’ stickers when their children grow up. I swear, half the time I see teenagers in the cars with their parents,” said Anya.

Bethany laughed. “I took mine off when my youngest turned ten.”

“It’s not like people change how they drive just because there’s a sticker in the back window of somebody’s car,” said Anya.

“It makes me want to aim for them,” said Bethany, with a perverse grin.

“How can you say that, Beth? You had one on your minivan,” said Anya.

“Logan, my husband, put it on. Not me. I think it’s arrogant to put it on a car. To me, it says two things.”


“‘You better care about my kids’ and ‘rob me’,” said Bethany.

“I get the first one, but why ‘rob me’?”

“It’s like advertising to thugs and criminals that you’re vulnerable. I hated having it. It’s bad enough I drive a minivan.”

“I think minivans are great,” said Anya.

“They’re the muumuu of automobiles. My husband drives a BMW and I get the little van on the prairies,” said Bethany.

“I think minivans are cool.”

“They are if your favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla, 8:00 is your bed time and you are counting the days until you die,” declared Bethany.

Anya folded her arms and glared out the window. “Someone needs to eat some chocolate.”

“No, mommy needs a sexy sports car,” said Bethany.

Anya laughed. “You’re awful.”

Bethany looked over at Anya with piercing eyes. “I’m tired of being a soccer mom.


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in baby on board, BMW, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, minivan, PTA, short fiction, short story, soccer mom, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Soccer Mom’s Lament

  1. Tony Trudgian says:

    I used to be a soccer mom and I drove a “Smart Car”! The sign in the back window said, “Tiny people on board.”

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