Dirty Wifi and the Tennis Strategy


Ian bumbled into the tennis club with a coffee in his hand and sleep in his eyes. Waiting on the court was Wayne, his friend and opponent for their ten o’clock match.

“Rough night?” asked Wayne. “I’d hate to think that’s your excuse when I crush your very soul.”

“It was a rough morning.”

“Why? What happened?”

“A car alarm woke me up at, like, quarter to six. On my morning off, too,” said Ian.

“I hate that.”

“It gets worse. All of a sudden, I hear Peggy yelling that she can’t turn it off. The she calls me to help her. I have no idea what’s going on. At one second I was dreaming about pudding, then I’m scrambling to shut down a car alarm that’s waking the whole street.”

Wayne was unsuccessfully attempting to suppress a smile. “Did you figure it out?”

Ian glared at Wayne. “Obviously. But I had to turn it off at the car. Outside in my pajamas. I was too tired to even think about putting on a coat.”

“Look on the bright side. At least you don’t sleep in the nude,” said Wayne.

“Very funny. The whole time Peggy was saying she didn’t know what happened,” said Ian. He was half-heartedly stretching in preparation for their match.

“Maybe it was dirty wifi,” suggested Wayne.

“Dirty what?”

“Wifi. You know how there are unsecured wifi hotspots all over the place? Hackers can use them to infect computers with viruses and stuff. It’s like the digital form of an airborne plague,” explained Wayne.

“You’re making that up.”

“What? Which part?”

“Dirty wifi. Next you’ll tell me it’s a way the government can track our movements and hack our files,” scoffed Ian.

“Actually,” Wayne started to say, only to be interrupted by Ian.

“Hackers didn’t screw up my wife’s remote starter,” said Ian.

Wayne looked thoughtfully at Ian before serving up an ace. “Stranger things have happened.”

“There’s no good reason why the government should want to do that,” said Ian.

Wayne served another ace past a bewildered Ian.

“I suppose,” said Wayne, “but changing the subject, did you hear I just got hired to work in the government’s cyber terrorism division? Mwahaha.”


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in car alarm, dirty wifi, fiction, flash fiction, government conspiracy, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, tennis, WIFI and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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