Bruce arrived at school to pick up his son and discovered a woman marching with a picket sign.
“No more animal testing!” she shouted.
Bruce tried to avoid her, but after making eye contact, she wasn’t about to let him pass.
“You, don’t you love animals?” she asked.
“I suppose,” said Bruce.
“Then join me in stopping animal testing. Sign my petition,” she said.
“Um,” said Bruce. He looked around for someone who might help him escape this woman, but to no avail.
“Animal testing is cruel!” shouted the woman.
“Yeah, but why picket in front of an elementary school?” asked Bruce.
“Where else would I do it?”
“Maybe in front of a lab where they actually do animal testing,” suggested Bruce.
The woman laughed. “You can’t fool me. You’re from the school. This man promotes cruelty to animals! Shame on you!”
“What are you talking about? I’m a dad picking up his kid.”
“I’m sure. You probably know all the dirty little secrets behind this.”
“Lady, you’re crazy,” said Bruce.
Bruce turned to walk away. The lady smacked him with her sign. He could feel a welt form on the back of his head.
“What’s the matter with you? I’m telling the office about you!” yelled Bruce.
“Go ahead. I’ll tell the the whole world about how you people subject innocent little animals to cruel testing. As if their little minds can understand science and mathematics,” said the woman.
Bruce stopped. “What did you say?”
“I know all about how this school makes bunnies and hamsters take the same tests as their human cousins. As if they even care about our history. Animals should be educated according to their abilities and level of understanding,” explained the woman.
“Is this a joke? Is there some hidden camera somewhere?”
“What are you talking about? You can’t distract me from my mission,” declared the woman.
Bruce dialed 9-1-1. “You’re right. I’ve just called the police. I think you should tell them everything you know. They might be able to help.”
The woman lowered her sign and smiled. “Thank you. It’s nice to know someone finally understands.”