First World Survival Techniques


“Dane, we gotta do somethin’. I’m dyin’,” complained Brett as he leaned out of the window of Dane’s car.

“I know. The air conditioning died yesterday,” said Dane. “I have no idea where we are.”

“Why’d we road trip on the hottest weekends of the year? It’s like a thousand degrees with a million percent humidity,” moaned Brett.

“How was I supposed to know?” asked Dane, defensively.

“Road trips, man. They’re not supposed to suck like this. What’re we gonna do?”

“I’m lookin’. Maybe there’s a fast food place somewhere,” said Dane.

“It better have aircon. I’m just sayin’,” said Brett.

“Look over there. Is that a McSub’s sign?”

“Please let it be cool,” said Brett.

They cruised to the restaurant, only to discover a line of people out the door.

“C’mon, man! I’m gonna pass out here. I may actually die,” said Brett.

“I don’t see anything else around,” said Dane.

“This can’t be happening.”

Dane turned into the drive-thru lane.

“What’re you doin’?” asked Brett.

Dane smiled. “Trust me on this.”

They pulled up to the window and placed their order. A minute later, after they got their food, Dane parked the car.

“Are we just gonna sit here and eat? At least if we’re moving we’d have the wind,” complained Brett.

“Shut up and grab your food,” said Dane. He got out of the car and slammed the door.

“What are we doing?”

“We’re gonna enjoy the air conditioned comfort of McSub’s,” said Dane as he walked past the huge line of waiting customers.

“We just skipped the line,” Brett whispered.

“D’ya think?”

Dane sat at a table underneath a cooling vent. “That’s survival in the big city,” he said.

Brett sat down and basked in the cooling breeze. “You, my friend, are my hero.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, first world problems, flash fiction, heat, humor, humour, road trip, short fiction, short story, story, summer, summer in the city, survival, survival techniques and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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