The Great Candy Conspiracy


They had to be at the family gathering in fifteen minutes and Holly loathed being late. She reached over from the passenger’s seat and honked the horn. A few seconds later Damien appeared.

“C’mon. We gotta get going,” said Holly.

Damien sat down and started the car. “They only had watermelon and fruit punch candies.”


“Those are the two worst kinds.”

Holly sighed and flipped twirled her hair. “I can’t believe you made us late because of candy.”

“It’s the principle.”

“Really,” said Holly, skeptically.

“Yes. Why do they make candies no body likes? It makes no sense,” vented Damien.

“I think you’re avoiding my family.”

Damien slapped the steering wheel. “Why do you always go there? It has nothing to do with them.”

“You don’t like them.”

“They’re not my favorite people in the world, but this is something bigger. It’s a conspiracy,” said Damien.

“With candy companies?”

“Yes. Like, why do they keep selling flavours we don’t like? And why do they sell flavours that don’t match at all with the real world? Have you tasted watermelon candies? They don’t taste anything like real watermelons. And don’t even get me started on fruit punch. I don’t know what fruit they’re using for that foul concoction,” fumed Damien.

“Are you listening to yourself? You sound crazy, and I can only handle so many cups of crazy before it gives me the shakes. I need you to be sane tonight,” said Holly.

“Are you referring to your crazy family?” asked Damien, knowingly.

Holly glared at Damien. “You know what I mean.”
“And you wonder why I drag my feet,” said Damien.

“Is that a confession?”

Damien looked at Holly slyly. “Maybe. I only deal with one conspiracy at a time.”


About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in candies, candy, conspiracy, family, fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Great Candy Conspiracy

  1. Tony Trudgian says:

    You can pick your nose; you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your relatives! Suck it up Damien!

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