The Fiftieth Birthday Party


Adam turned fifty. For his birthday, his three children took him out for dinner.

When the server approached, his oldest daughter Ariel asked, “Excuse me, how old do you have to be to get the senior’s discount?”

The server looked around the table. “Sixty,” she said. Then, looking at Adam, she added, “There’s no one near that age at this table.”

Adam nodded. “Thank-you. I’m still a long way from that yet.”

“Not really,” laughed Crystal, his youngest.

“Yeah. You’re old,” said Blake, the middle child.

“Thanks. You’re supposed to be on my side. You know, guys stick together,” said Adam.

“I would, but, you know, sorry,” said Blake.

“Traitor,” said Adam.

“Dad, I have a question,” said Crystal. “Were you scared when they first invented fire?”

The other two giggled.

“Funny,” said Adam.

“Did you have a pet dinosaur?” asked Blake.

“Dad isn’t that old,” said Ariel. “When he was a young boy dad would’ve been blown away by the fancy new technologies- the wheel.”

“Ooo,” said Crystal.

“And electricity,” said Blake.

“The horseless carriage. How does it move all by itself?” asked Ariel.

“And what did you ever do without video games?” asked Crystal.

“We sat on the couch and stared at a blank wall,” said Adam, sarcastically.

“That must’ve been SO boring,” said Blake.

“I’m kidding,” said Adam.

“No he’s not. That’s why he’s so grateful for the fancy moving pictures,” said Crystal.

“For your birthday, we were gonna buy you a tablet, but I said it too advanced for your ancient brain,” said Ariel.

“Gee, thanks,” said Adam.

At that point, the server returned. “Are you ready to order?”

Adam spoke first. “I’d like to order my children humble pie.”

The server looked confused. “We don’t serve that.”

“Oh, I’m not worried,” said Adam. “Give ‘em twenty years, and they’ll get theirs.”

“I think dad’s getting senile,” Ariel whispered to her siblings.

“No I’m not,” whispered Adam. “I just know that one day you’ll have children of your own, and then it’s payback.”

“Do you know what he’s talking about?” asked Crystal.

“No. But then again, he is old,” said Ariel. “It’s probably past his bed time.”

Adam glared at his three children. “I’m gonna remember this the next time you want something. I’ll say, ‘I forget where I put my wallet.’ Oh well.”

His three children gave Adam their best puppy dog eyes.

“Just kidding, Daddy,” said Crystal.

“Happy birthday, Daddy,” said Blake.

“We love you,” said Ariel.

Adam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I bet you do.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in age, birthday, dad, daughter, father, fiction, fifty, flash fiction, humor, humour, old, party, short fiction, short story, son, story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Fiftieth Birthday Party

  1. Tony Trudgian says:

    I think we look back at raising all our children and wonder how on earth we ever survived! But we did and so will they.

  2. cat9984 says:

    They sound just like my kids around my husband!

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