How to Make the World Burn

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Ira and Lynn sipped water as they took a break from their workouts.

“I’ve decided to run for politics,” said Ira.

The news startled Lynn. “I didn’t peg you as a civil servant.”

“I’m not really. You know when you go to a bad movie and walk out half way through? That’s what the world’s become.”

“And you’re the disgusted spectator.”

“With this movie, there’s no walking out. It’s reality, so we’re stuck with it,” said Ira.

“What party are you with?” asked Lynn.

“I’m independent.”

“What’s your platform?”

“I want to outlaw caffeine,” announced Ira.

Lynn laughed out loud. “Why would you do that? Nobody’s going to vote for you.”

A glint sparkled in Ira’s eye. “I want to watch society burn.”

“You’re an anarchist.”

Ira ignored the comment. “Can you imagine what would happen if caffeine was illegal? It would be chaos.”

“Why are you so eager to destroy civilization?”

“Why save it? The government is corrupt beyond repair. So is the banking industry. A racial war is about to break out. There’s global terrorism. Iran is on the verge of having nuclear weapons. North Korea has them, and almost the means to lob them over the Pacific Ocean. And don’t forget, Russia wants to take over the world. Again.”

“You’re a real wet blanket, you know that? I don’t think things are all that bad,” said Lynn.

“Where’d you get that idea, from the late night comedians you listen to for political analysis? They’re idiots. Well scripted, but idiots all the same.”

“So how does your plot help anything?”

“Every race, every culture is addicted to caffeine. It’s the world’s most consumed drug. Think about it. Coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world,” said Ira. Her eyes flared as she spoke.

“People will adjust once the caffeine is out of their system,” said Lynn.

“But it won’t. It’ll go underground like alcohol during prohibition. Criminal networks will form. The very fabric of society will rip apart at its seams. It’ll burn to its foundations.”

“You’re twisted,” said Lynn.

“I know,” sneered Ira.

“You’re scary,” said Lynn, standing up, “but I’ll admit, you’re no scarier than any thing else that threatens the world.”

Ira giggled.

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
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2 Responses to How to Make the World Burn

  1. Anthony Trudgian says:

    I’m reading this as I sit in Tim Hortons having a @#%%€£. There would be an awful lot of unhappy people.

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