Salamander Redux


Early on the morning of January first, Scott Fraser received a call. His wife Desirae listened in.

“Yes, this is he… My son is named Brett.”

“Who is it?” asked Desirae.

“It’s the police,” replied Scott.

“Is Brett okay?” asked Desirae, suddenly concerned for the welfare of their twenty-four year old son.

“He’s been arrested,” announced Scott.

“What’s he done this time?”

“I’m trying to figure that out,” said Scott, returning his attention to the call.

“You want us to come to the station,” Scott said to the person on the line.

Desirae stopped what she was doing and sat next to her husband in the living room.

“To bring pants,” Scott continued. “What happened to the pair he was wearing?”

Scott looked at his wife in disbelief. “He burned them? Why did he burn them? He did it as a bet?”

Desirae shrugged. Scott held up his hand. “What was the bet? Five hundred dollars. I see. Was this when he was arrested? No. Okay. What happened next?”

Scott covered up the phone and spoke to his wife. “Hold, on, there’s more.”

“Double or nothing to french kiss a goat. Where’s he supposed to find a goat in the middle of a city? You’re right officer. It doesn’t make sense to me, either. Is that when he was arrested? No?”

Desirae repositioned herself on the couch.

“I agree. I’ve never heard of triple or nothing,” said Scott. “Did you say the world’s largest bowl of porridge? What do you mean he did it?”

By this point Desirae was beside herself.

“Where did he find that much oatmeal?” asked Scott. Listening to the answer, he nodded his head. “Highjack a cereal truck, of course.”

“Is he going to jail?” asked Desirae in desperation.

“Are you kidding?” asked Scott. His face lit up. “How did he find the Guinness Book of World Records people?”

Scott covered the receiver. “Brett actually made the worlds largest bowl of oatmeal,” he told his wife.

Scott listened on the phone for a prolonged period. The mystery of not knowing made Desirae nervous.

Finally Scott said, “Okay, we’ll be right down.”

Desirae grabbed Scott’s hand. “What? Tell me.”

Her husband sighed. “It’s the salamander incident all over again.”

Desirae reached for a tissue. “At least this time he’ll be famous.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
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4 Responses to Salamander Redux

  1. Anthony Trudgian says:

    I really hope your going to write about the “salamander incident”!

  2. Pat says:

    We are really curious now about the salamander. Sounds like One of my brothers to me.

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