The Valentine’s Flag


“OMG, it’s Valentine’s Day!” exclaimed Seth.

“Did you actually just said ‘OMG? I mean, that’s okay if you’re a fifteen year old girl, but dude,” replied Mike.

“Focus. I’ve got a big problem here. I completely forgot,” said Seth.

“There’s still time. Get her chocolates and flowers,” said Mike.

“I can’t do that. Olga’s lactose intolerant and she says cut flowers glorify something already dead,” explained Seth.

“A live plant, then.”

“She doesn’t have a green thumb. And, she’s like, allergic to everything.”


“What am I gonna do?” asked Seth. He had a look of fear in his eyes.

Mike shrugged. “I dunno.”

“It’s gotta be something good. I totally screwed up Christmas,” said Seth.

“What’d you do?”

“I bought her a gym membership,” said Seth, sheepishly.

“How is it that you’re married and I’m single? Even I know that’s a terrible idea.”

“C’mon, man. Help,” begged Seth.

“Design her a flag. You know, something that represents her,” said Mike.

Seth choked. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“Says the guy on the fast track to divorce,” said Mike.

“I am not.”

“Okay, then. Get her another gym membership. Better yet, sign her up for Weight Watchers,” said Mike.

“You got a point.”

“Uh huh.”

“A flag, you say,” said Seth.

“Why not? If you do it right, it’s a one-of-a-kind gift. How much more romantic can you get?”

“Um,” mused Seth. “I’m still not convinced.”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

Seth fidgeted with his cell phone. “When you put it like that, I better get started.”

Mike laughed. “Forget love. The true meaning of Valentine’s Day is desperation.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
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