When Gloria entered the office she couldn’t help but notice the scowl on Hank’s face. “What’s the matter? You mad or something?” she asked.
“I’m fighting a headache. I don’t feel very good,” replied Hank.
Eric popped his head over his cubicle wall. “Did I hear that right? Is Hank sick?”
“He says it’s just a headache,” said Gloria.
“I feel kinda nauseous, too, but I think that’s because of the headache,” added Hank.
“Great. Hank’s sick,” said Eric.
“Relax. Hank knows better than to do something like come to work and infect the whole office,” said Gloria. Both focused on Hank.
“He looks sick to me,” concluded Eric.
“Do you feel chilled?” asked Gloria.
“It is cold in here, right?” asked Hank, rubbing his arms for warmth.
Eric covered his mouth with his hand. “We’re doomed. He’s probably spread his disease encrusted germs all over the place.”
“I can’t believe you came to work today,” lectured Gloria.
“There’s too much to do. I can’t afford to get behind,” said Hank.
“At the risk of all of our health,” argued Gloria.
“It’s just a little cold,” said Hank.
“Said the first guy carrying the plague,” replied Eric.
Hank slammed his laptop shut. “Alright, alright! I’ll go home.”
“You do that,” said Gloria.
“And don’t come back until you’re healthy,” added Eric.
Hank packed his bag and skulked home. Gloria grabbed a bottle of hand sanitizer and started washing down her desk.
“You know,” said Eric, “Sick shaming is the best way of getting rid of anyone you don’t like.”
Gloria laughed. “Works like a charm.”