Doug’s Birthday


“Happy birthday, Doug!” sang Samantha.

“It’s your birthday?” asked Roger.

Doug blushed. “Yep.”

“Any plans for the big day?” asked Samantha.

“Nah, not really,” said Doug.

“How old are you?” asked Roger.

“Roger! You can’t ask him that,” scolded Samantha.

“Why not?”

“It’s rude. You don’t know if he’s self-conscious about his age,” explained Samantha.

“Then why make a big deal that it’s his birthday?” asked Roger.

“It’s no big deal. I’m 45,” said Doug.

“Half way to ninety,” said Roger.

“Stop!” said Samantha.

“What?” demanded Roger.

“You’re making him feel bad,” said Samantha.

“He’s really not,” said Doug.

“Of course he is,” said Samantha.

“At least I haven’t mentioned that he didn’t die in the past year. That’s the real thing we’re celebrating here, isn’t it? Could you imagine dying choking on vitamins? How ironic would that be?” asked Roger.

“You’re random and weird,” scoffed Samantha.

“I’m just stating the obvious. Doug survived another trip around the sun,” said Roger.

“I hadn’t thought of it that way before,” said Doug.

“Roger, you need to go away now,” said Samantha.

“Don’t act like I’m being obtuse. I’m shockingly realistic,” said Roger.

“You’re impossible!” said Samantha.

As the two were arguing, Doug put on his headphones and started working.

Roger noticed this immediately. “Hey! It’s your birthday. What are you even doing here? You should be celebrating.”

“What do you mean?” asked Doug.

“You should be doing what you really want to do,” said Roger.

“I like my job,” confessed Doug.

“See? You have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Samantha.

“I don’t know why I hang around with you people,” said Roger.

“I really wish you didn’t,” said Samantha.

Roger scowled. “You’re cold.”

Doug mumbled to himself. “I wish I worked from home.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Doug’s Birthday

  1. Pat says:

    Not half as old as Canada yet. I also like the trip around the sun.

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