A spider the size of a quarter crept its way down the living room wall behind Amelie. It took an hour to make it’s way from the ceiling down to the highest cushion of the sofa. Chip watched it’s progress as the two decompressed after a long day of work.

As Amelie was sharing about the latest office romance, Chip grabbed a tissue and reached behind her.

“What are you doing?” she asked, with irritation.

Chip crushed the spider with an audible crunch.

Amelie jumped up from her seat. “What was that?”

“A spider,” replied Chip.

“Kill it. Kill it,” she urged.

“I already got it. Wanna see?”

“Ew! No. That’s disgusting. Get rid of it,” she said.

“I watched it for about an hour,” said Chip.

“And you waited ’til now to squish it?”

“It wasn’t bothering anyone before.”

“It’s a spider. They’re creepy and ugly. What if it jumped on me?” asked Amelie. She shivered at the thought.

“I don’t think they do that,” said Chip.

“Some do. Was it big?”

Chip made a circle with his fingers. “About that size.”

Amelie’s eyes grew big. “It was huge! I can’t believe we have monsters living in our house.”

“You’re overreacting. Besides, I’m here to protect you,” said Chip.

“Great job you’re doing. You just sat there as it plotted against me,” said Amelie.

“I don’t think they’re that malevolent.”

“How do you know? Are you a spider psychologist? No. You don’t have any idea what it was thinking. It was probably figuring out where to bite me,” said Amelie.

“You know, the next time I kill a spider, I’ll make sure not to tell you,” said Chip.

“Why? So you can be in cahoots with it? I’m not even safe in my own home.”

“Don’t be so irrational. I killed it,” said Chip.

Amelie crossed her arms and sulked. “I’m not irrational.”

“Then you won’t mind killing the spider behind you,” said Chip.

Amelie steamed and ran from the room. From behind the wall she yelled at Chip, “A fear of things that can kill you is completely natural.”

“If that’s the case, then why isn’t there a phobia of women?” mumbled Chip.

“I heard that,” Amelie called out.

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Gynophobia

  1. cat9984 says:

    Right now you should be very, very frightened of women. 🙂

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