Under the Influence

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During the morning rush hour, Caitlyn dropped her daughter off at school and started toward the office. Waiting to turn into traffic, she watched a white car stop in the middle of the street. It took a couple of seconds for Caitlyn’s brain to catch up to what she was seeing.

A row of vehicles lined up behind the white car. From her vantage point, Caitlyn could see the driver of the white car sitting there with an odd smile on her face. The traffic started to back up as vehicles jerked into the other lane to get around her.

It was a flurry of honking horns and middle fingers.

The ringing cell phone distracted Caitlyn from the drama.

“I’m on my way,” she said as she picked up the phone.

“Are you driving?” asked her coworker, Milton.

“Not at the moment. Traffic’s at a standstill. There’s some maniac parked in the middle of the road for no reason,” explained Caitlyn.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I know, but there it is. Hold on, I got an opportunity here,” said Caitlyn. She swerved into traffic and quickly away from the chaos behind her. “Now I’m good.”

“Was it broken down?”

“I don’t think so. She just parked.”

“Weird.”

“You know, they have an intelligent quotient, and emotional quotient, but they have no measure of stupidity,” said Caitlyn.

“Why would you want to do that?” asked Milton.

“There’s so much of it in the world, you’d think it would be a priority. You know, as a warning for the rest of us. Stay away from that guy, his SQ is 140. That kind of thing,” said Caitlyn.

“Hold on a second. Are you driving and talking on a cell phone?”

“Yeah, why?”

At that moment, Milton heard the sound of Caitlyn swearing, the screeching of tires and a loud crash.

“Are you okay?” asked Milton.

It took a moment for Caitlyn to regain her composure. “I think so.”

“On the bright side, you solved your own mystery.”

“What’s that?” asked Caitlyn.

“They don’t study it, because even scientists don’t want to know their own stupidity quotient.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
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2 Responses to Under the Influence

  1. cat9984 says:

    Our full-size pickup truck broke down on the freeway and we pulled onto the left shoulder, out of traffic. A woman came around the curve at about 80 mph, apparently distracted by her phone, and slammed into the back of the truck, totaling it with her sedan. Luckily I had been a little skittish about sitting there and told my husband to put on his seat belt, so neither of us was hurt.

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