Malpractice

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Wallace could feel it building the past hour. He set his glasses on his desk and rubbed his eyes. Karen noticed from the next cubicle.

“You alright?” she asked.

“I’m fighting a headache,” grumbled Wallace.

Just then, Phil walked past. He overheard Wallace and stopped. “Caffeine. Drink a coffee. That always does the trick.”

Wallace shook his head. “I hate the taste of coffee.”

“You should try a potato poultice,” suggested Karen.

“I drink Diet Coke,” said Wallace.

“Aspertame’s the worst thing for you. It causes cancer,” said Phil.

“But that’s my source of caffeine,” explained Wallace.

“I have a couple of potatoes in my purse.” said Karen.

Phil gave Karen an incredulous look. “You carry potatoes around with you?”

“I get headaches a lot. It really helps,” said Karen.

Louise heard what was going on and decided to interject. “No, no, no. He needs actual medicine. Here, take these.” She handed Wallace six tablets.

“You gave me too many,” said Wallace.

“It’s a stater dose,” explained Louise.

“What do the instructions on the bottle say?” asked Wallace.

“Don’t worry about that. They don’t know what they’re talking about,” said Louise.

As this was going on, Karen cut a potato into thin slices and started sticking them on Wallace’s forehead.

“That’s useless. He probably’s got a brain cancer from drinking Diet Coke,” said Phil.

“I do not,” complained Wallace.

“Use proper medicine. Take your pills,” said Louise.

Karen scowled at Louise. That’s what Big Pharma wants you to think. Use the tried and true methods of your great grandparents.”

“It won’t help,” interrupted Phil. “Cancer’s probably all through his body by now.”

Wallace stood up and stuffed his laptop into his bag.

“What’re you doing?” asked Karen.

“Going home,” he said, glaring at the three around him. “I can only deal with one headache at a time.”

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Malpractice

  1. Pat says:

    I have had days like that. People are trying to be helpful and it just does’ cut it.

  2. cat9984 says:

    Hmm. I have neuralgia on one side of my face that can get pretty painful. Maybe I should start carrying potatoes around.

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