The Last One Standing


In the middle of the Thursday meeting, Kirk shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. A soft groan caught the attention of Brandon sitting beside him.

“You okay?” whispered Brandon.

Through clenched teeth, Kirk replied, “I have to pee real bad.”

“Ouch,” replied Brandon. They both remembered that the last person to leave a meeting was summarily fired.

At the head of the room, their CEO was in the middle of one of his loquacious pep talks. Kirk unfastened the top button on his pants.

“You gonna make it?” asked Brandon.

Kirk had a look of fear in his eyes. “I had three coffees this morning.”

“You’re going to die.” concluded Brandon. He watched his struggling coworker exhale through a bladder contraction.

At the front of the room, the CEO’s voice crescendoed. “Last year my wife and I visited Niagara Falls. The flow of water was awe inspiring.”

“Please kill me,” groaned Kirk.

“Do you think he’s tormenting you on purpose?” whispered Brandon.

Kirk lifted himself off the chair to relieve the tension. As though in prayer, he bowed his head and closed his eyes.

“Any questions?” asked the CEO. There was a long pause. “None?”

Beads of sweat formed on Kirk’s brow.

“Alright then, I guess this meeting is adjourned,” said the CEO.

Within seconds the entire room cleared as bathroom stalls filled with desperate people. Brandon watched in wonder as he was left alone with the CEO.

“You have no place to be?” asked the CEO.

“No, I’m good,” replied Brandon.

The CEO smiled. “You know the true secret to success?”

Brandon shook his head.

The CEO packed up his briefcase. “A strong bladder. If you can hold on longer than everybody else, it’s like having a super power.”

“Good to know,” replied Brandon, “that’s good to know.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Last One Standing

  1. Pat says:

    Sounds like my dad and his friends having a peeing contest. LOL

  2. cat9984 says:

    That certainly explains why some otherwise incompetent people are in positions of power

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