After another exhausting day, Brett and Andrea collapsed on the living room couch. Their children, Quinton and Hayley, were in their rooms, presumably doing homework.
“I worry we don’t do enough together as a family,” confessed Andrea.
“Huh,” grunted Brett.
“I’m serious. We don’t have any family traditions,” said Andrea.
“Sure we do,” said Brett.
“Really? Name one,” pressed Andrea.
Brett sighed. He thought for a second, then said, “Soup from a can night.”
Andrea hit him with a throw pillow. “That’s awful!”
“We do it at least once a week,” defended Brett.
“That’s not a tradition. It’s proof I’m a bad mother.”
“Nobody seems to mind,” said Brett.
“What? That I’m a bad mother, or soup from a can night?” demanded Andrea.
Brett immediately recognized his mistake. “The second one. Look, I’m tired. Can’t we walk about this later?”
“You’re not off the hook until you name one tradition we have a family,” scolded Andrea.
Brett threw up his hands in surrender. “Video game night.”
“That doesn’t count.”
“I hate video games,” said Andrea.
“You’re the only one,” replied Brett.
“Give me another one,” said Andrea.
Quinton poked his head into the living room. Both parents pounced like lions on a gazelle.
“Quinton, help me out,” said Brett. “Your mom says we don’t have any family traditions. I say we do. What do you think?”
“Don’t let your father influence you. It’s okay if we don’t,” added Andrea.
Quinton shrugged his shoulders. “I just wanna know if I can play on the PS4. My homework’s done.”
Brett laughed. “See? I’m right.”
“That doesn’t prove anything,” replied Andrea.
Hayley came up behind her brother. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“Mom and dad are losin’ it,” said Quinton.
“What’s new?” replied Hayley.
“Do we have any family traditions?” Andrea asked her daughter.
“Sure. We roll our eyes at each other and treat each other passive aggressively,” chirped Hayley.
Andrea dropped her head in despair.
“Don’t feel bad, honey,” said Brett. “We’re a normal, modern family.”