How To Network At A Funeral


“I’m so sorry,” said Jason, giving the widow a brief hug.


The widow smiled and whispered a word of thanks.


Jason offered his respects to the body in the casket. A voice from behind him exclaimed, “He looks so life-like.” He turned to discover a couple in their early fifties. He pulled out a business card and gave it to them.


“Better to live now that wait for an undertaker’s brush,” he said.


The couple looked at him strangely, but kept the card.


Stationed next to a wreath of flowers, Jason waited until he heard a mourner say, “He looks so natural.”


Jason handed out another card. “Wouldn’t you rather enjoy that natural look now?” he asked.


The mourner shuffled away with a horrified expression. Jason smiled and returned to his strategic position.


He only had to wait a few seconds when a woman whispered to her husband, “They did such a good job making him up.”


Jason stepped forward and handed her a card. “If you think they did a good job, you need to see my work.”


The woman grasped her husband’s arm and the two abruptly walked away.


At the back of the room, two funeral directors watched Jason.


“What’s with that guy?” asked the first.


“I met him earlier. He claims to be a distant cousin or something,” replied the second.


“What’s he doing?”


“He’s a plastic surgeon. He says funerals are a great place to drum up business,” said the second.


The first funeral director shrugged. “Why not? It works for us.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to How To Network At A Funeral

  1. Tony Trudgian says:

    What if you owned a clothing store? Hmmmm!

  2. Pat Lockie says:

    Very crude business practice.

  3. cat9984 says:

    I’ve never understood why people say “He looks so natural.” Have they ever seen the person laying on their back with their eyes closed and hands folded? I’m guessing not.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s