Different Species

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“So, what do you do for fun?” asked Heidi.

 

Ed admired the beauty sitting across the table. She fidgeted with the sleeve of her paper coffee cup.

 

“I’m a conference speaker,” said Ed.

 

Heidi’s face brightened. “Oh, wow. Is that your job?”

 

“No,” shrugged Ed. “It’s just a hobby. I do about twenty a year.”

 

“That’s fascinating. What kind do you do?”

 

“It depends. Each one is different. At the beginning of each sports season I do a season preview. The others are about what ever piques my interest,” he explained.

 

Heidi’s eyes narrowed. “People pay you to talk about whatever you want?”

 

“I wish,” laughed Ed. “Nobody ever comes. I record them and get a few views online, though.”

 

“I don’t understand. Are you saying you put on a conference, but for no one at all?” asked Heidi.

 

“Sure. It’s fun.”

 

“Where do you do these conferences?”

 

“I rent a room at a nearby hotel. It’s not as expensive as you think,” said Ed.

 

“That’s so sad,” said Heidi, wondering how to get out of this date.

 

Ed thought for a second. “I wouldn’t say sad,” he mumbled out loud.

 

“I’m really not sure this is going to work out,” admitted Heidi.

 

“Why, because of the conference thing? It’s a great hobby.”

 

“It’s kinda weird,” cringed Heidi.

 

Ed tapped on the table. “Know what? I think you’re right. This isn’t gonna work.”

 

“What? Why do you say that?” snapped Heidi.

 

“Why are you mad? I agreed with you.”

 

“Yeah, but no for the same reasons,” explained Heidi.

 

“Does it really matter?”

 

Heidi glared at Ed. “Yes.”

 

“Fine. You get the credit for ending this. I let you,” said Ed.

 

“No!” shouted Heidi. She attracted the attention of other coffee house patrons. “You don’t let me. I let myself. We’re done.”

 

Ed stood up. “Whatever.”

 

“Where are you going? We’re not done here. You’re crazy. What do you think of that?” demanded Heidi.

 

Ed shifted his weight and crossed his arms. “I tell you about something I really enjoy and you break up with someone you’re not even in a relationship with. Who’s the crazy one?”

 

Heidi’s face flushed and her eyes flared.

 

“That’s what I thought,” said Ed, then stormed away.

 

Once Ed was out of sight, Heidi buried her head on the table. A woman who’d overheard their conversation approached and tapped Heidi on the shoulder. Heidi lifted her head, her mascara streaking down her cheeks.

 

The woman handed her a tissue. “It’s hard to believe we’re even the same species, isn’t it?”

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About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Different Species

  1. Pat Lockie says:

    It sounds like those instant dates that we’re all the rage a few years ago. Sounds like fun for singles. Sorry I can’t try it. LOL

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