PhD in Friendship

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For weeks, all Virginia could talk about was her new boyfriend Craig. It made Larry nauseous to hear her gush.

 

“Craig is so thoughtful,” she said. “He bought me flowers yesterday for no reason al all. Isn’t that thoughtful?”

 

“Whatever,” grumbled Larry. He had good reason to be cynical. When it came to men, his little sister couldn’t make a good decision by accident. He’d seen her date a string of loafers, lushes and losers.

 

“He’s a doctor, you know,” added Virginia.

 

“What kind?”

 

Virginia looked to the sky and twirled her hair. “I don’t remember, but he’s really smart.”

 

“Uh huh,” grunted Larry. “He’s also late.”

 

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Virginia jumped into action. “Promise you’ll be civil,” she warned her brother.

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

Larry watched Virginia skip down the hall, answer the door and jump into the arms of some stranger. He glared as the two walked hand-in-hand back to the living room.

 

“Hi. I’m Craig.” He held out his hand and smiled.

 

“So I’ve heard,” replied Larry.

 

“I’ve heard a lot about you. Virginia can’t stop raving about you,” added Craig.

 

“I’ll leave the two of you to get acquainted. Anyone for iced tea?” asked Virginia. She leaned into Larry’s ear. “Please play nice.”

 

Larry glared back into her desperate eyes. “I make no promises.”

 

After Virginia was out of earshot, Craig broke the silence. “I heard you’re a watchmaker. That sounds like amazingly technical work.”

 

“And I heard you’re a doctor.”

 

Craig blushed. “It’s not medical. I have a PhD.”

 

Larry nodded like a cop in an interrogation. “In what?”

 

“I have a doctorate in friendship,” confessed Craig

 

Larry shook his head in disapproval. “You actually fooled my sister with that?”

 

“It’s a growing field, actually,” Craig sat forward in his seat. “Think about issues like dementia, mental health and online bullying.”

 

Larry rolled his eyes. “Okay, in your research, what’s the most important thing you learned about friendship?”

 

A wicked smile flashed across Craig’s face. “A good friend will help you move, but a best friend will help you move a body.”

 

At that moment Virginia entered with a tray with a tray of drinks. “How are things going?” she asked.

 

Larry swallowed a chuckle. “This guy’s got a shot.”

About vanyieck

There is nothing about me that is more interesting than you. I am a man. I have a wife and family. I have a career. I have two dogs. I
This entry was posted in fiction, flash fiction, humor, humour, short fiction, short story, story, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to PhD in Friendship

  1. Anthony Trudgian says:

    That’s hilarious ! Never heard that one before

  2. Patricia says:

    That is so true. Don’t ask how I know. Lol

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