Millennial Fever

“My life’s terrible! I have this great game app on my phone and I want to play it, but it drains the battery and I left my charger at school. I told my dad I needed a phone with the best battery available but he didn’t listen and now I’m stuck in this untenable situation. What should I do?” prattled Madison.

Ben and Patty met their high school neighbour while enjoying the Summer evening on the front porch. Patty bristled at Ben’s friendliness.

Patty leaned over to Ben and whispered, “Don’t look at me, you asked her how she’s doing.”

“I guess you have to decided what’s more important, play your app or save the charge on your phone,” Ben answered Madison.

Madison sighed and stomped her foot. “Why do I have to choose? It’s so hard.”

“It’s really not,” said Patty.

“Maybe not for old people like you. You probably don’t even know how to text,” said Madison.

Patty whispered to Ben. “I may have to kill her.”

“You know I can hear you,” spat Madison.

“That’s because the threat doesn’t mean anything if you can’t hear it,” shouted Patty.

“We should all calm down,” suggested Ben.

“Yeah. I have a problem here. Seriously, what should I do?” asked Madison.

Ben hesitated. “It’s really up to you.”

“What would you do?” asked Madison.

“How about get a job and move out of my parents’ basement?” said Patty.

“I’m being so triggered right now,” huffed Madison.

“I have a few triggers I can show you,” threatened Patty.

Madison shot Patty a disgusted look and posed with her hand on her hip. “What’s your problem?”

“Don’t mind her. She’s suffering from Millennial Fever,” Ben explained to Madison.

“Ew,” shrieked Madison. She recoiled with her hand over her mouth. “Is it contagious?”

“Only if stupid is a virus,” grumbled Patty.

Madison threw her hands up in frustration. “You’re just an old, hateful person.”

“I’m thirty-seven, you pathetic-“

Ben held Patty at bay. “Yes. it’s contagious. You better get out of here before you catch it.”

Madison nodded before she went insider her house. “I hope she gets better,” she said. “If not, at least she had a long life.”

After she was inside, Ben turned to Patty. “What was that?” he asked.

Patty face was resolute. “We have to move.”